Happy Sixth Birthday!
This morning I realized that the blog’s sixth birthday is May 2nd (tomorrow as I write this) and I HAVE to write a post. I have never missed a happy birthday post and I’m not going to start now. But people, I don’t have time for this. I have to leave for golf in one hour and it takes four hours to play, so I won’t get back home until this afternoon and then will have to work through the night to get this thing done. Unless…
Y’all have all heard of ChatGPT, right? Well, if you are like my sister Norah and haven’t got a clue, ChatGPT is an artificial intelligence site that can answer questions and analyze and generate text based on your input. It has been in the news a lot lately. Man, do I ever wish this had been around when I was in high school. I wouldn’t have had to take Norah’s analysis of The Heart of Darkness and rework it to make it look like my own. I have decided ChatGPT offers the best option for getting this job done as quickly as possible.
ROUND 1
First I had to teach ChatGPT how to write like me, so I went to ChatGPT.com, created a free account, and typed: “Analyze the following text for style and tone of voice. Apply that exact style and tone of voice to all of your future responses.” Then I pasted the text from The Fruit Nazi post because I think it is some of my finest work. ChatGPT answered with this:
In keeping with the style and tone of the original text, I will adopt a chatty, casual, and humorous tone while providing informative responses. I will use a first-person point of view and express my opinions in a straightforward and candid manner, much like the author of the original text.
Cool, I thought. I’m off to the races. Chatty, casual and humorous - that’s me. So I typed in this brief sketch of what I wanted the blog post to be about:
Write a blog post for the blog, youngestsister. Write a post in honor of the blog's sixth birthday that is sort of a "State of the Union" for the blog. I don't have time to write it because I have been so busy. I have been sewing much more than usual because I bought a new sewing machine that cost more than my first car. It does embroidery. I made most of the Christmas presents I gave last year. I made my sister Janelle an apron embroidered with 12 Days of Christmas tailored to the things she does. And I made her a set of Christmas napkins with quotes from my favorite Christmas movies. (Think: "Merry Christmas, you filthy animal”). I embroidered towels and my favorite was a dishtowel that says, "When I grow up I want to be like Mary Welby." I have been knitting a lot and am now back to playing golf. I became a grandmother at the end of December, so have been to California twice since then. All of this means I don't have a lot of time to write. Keep clicking on those ads because I'm a long way from being able to retire on this.
My desktop Ferrari (aka Husqvarna Viking Ruby 90)
I hit send and waited less than 30 seconds. Remember that I said I want ChatGPT to apply my “chatty, casual, and humorous tone” to all future responses, so I was anxiously expecting to read a blog post that sounded just like I wrote it. I would paste it right here, click “Save & Publish” and be done with this. What I got back follows. ChatGPT’s version is in italics. My remarks are in the regular font.
Happy 6th Birthday, youngestsister blog! I can't believe it's already been six years since I started this blog. I remember when I first created it, I was so nervous about putting my thoughts out there for the world to see. But over time, I've come to love this little corner of the internet that I've carved out for myself.
1) I was never nervous about “putting my thoughts out there.” I’ve been a whole new kind of crazy for a long time, so I figured I might as well try to explain myself.
2) I have done dozens of things over the years that should have made me nervous for the world to see. This ain’t one of them.
3) I would never say, “this little corner of the internet.” Be serious.
As I sit down to write this post, I can't help but feel grateful for all of the amazing experiences that this blog has brought me over the years.
As I sit down to write this post, I can’t help but break into a cold sweat remembering how I used to wait until the weekend before it was due to start the term paper.
From connecting with readers all over the world to sharing my passion for sewing, knitting, golfing, and all of the other things that I love, this blog has truly been a labor of love.
I do not connect with readers all over the world. This is a one-way street. I don’t give a shit what my readers think. This is all about me.
Speaking of sewing, I have been sewing up a storm lately! I bought a new sewing machine that cost more than my first car, and it has been worth every penny. With its embroidery capabilities, I've been able to make some truly unique and special gifts for my loved ones. My sister Janelle was particularly thrilled with the apron I made for her embroidered with the 12 Days of Christmas tailored to her hobbies and interests. And the set of Christmas napkins with quotes from my favorite Christmas movies was a hit with everyone who received them.
Ugh. The Craft Lady speaks. I said “chatty and humorous” not “folksy and corny.” I’m pretty sure that, if I wrote stuff like that, y’all would have stopped reading my posts a LONG time ago.
In addition to sewing, I've also been knitting a lot lately. There's just something so satisfying about creating something beautiful with my own two hands.
“Something beautiful?” You haven’t seen my knitting. However, it is accurate that I have two hands.
And, of course, I've been back on the golf course as well. I took a little break from golfing to focus on my crafting, but now that the weather is getting nicer, I'm ready to hit the links again.
I hate calling it “crafting” so much that I call my workroom my LAB. I concoct things. I make things. I’m not CRAFTING. “Hit the links again?” God, how cliche.
Of course, my biggest news is that I became a grandmother at the end of December. It's been such an incredible experience to watch my daughter become a mother and to see this little bundle of joy grow and change every day. I've been to California twice since he was born, and every time I see him, my heart just swells with love.
This is my favorite part. Lawler, my daughter, is going to be so surprised to find out she became a mother last year. It’s not my daughter who became a mother, it’s my son who became a father. But the “little bundle of joy” is indeed a boy. Not sure how ChatGPT figured that out. I guess it had a 50/50 chance for each and got it 50% right.
All of this is to say that while I haven't been able to write as much as I'd like lately, I'm still here and still passionate about this blog.
I am not at all passionate about this blog. If I were, I would have a book deal.
It's been amazing to see how much it's grown over the past six years, and I'm excited to see where it goes from here. So keep clicking on those ads, folks, because I'm a long way from being able to retire on this blog just yet. But with your support, who knows what the future holds? Here's to another six years of youngestsister!
I promise I will NEVER call you “folks.” Unless it is in jest.
I decided that this post is just dreadful, but I have to admit, it is gramatically correct, which is more than I can say about the way most people write today. I think I have figured it out — ChatGPT doesn’t understand irony, sarcasm and situational humor. Either that, or this blog really isn’t funny at all. Yikes.
ROUND 2
I decided to give it another go, with some more specific instructions, but I kept getting back informational and boring, not chatty and conversational. So I finally said, “rewrite the post and make it funny.” Here’s what came back:
It's time to put on your party hats and throw some confetti because it's the youngest sister blog's sixth birthday! Woohoo! I know, I know, I've been MIA since my last post about gift ideas for your weird uncle, but trust me, I haven't been sitting around twiddling my thumbs.
Instead, I've been busy buying a sewing machine that's fancier than a Kardashian's closet. This baby can embroider like nobody's business, and now all my family members are getting personalized embroidered gifts whether they like it or not. Sorry, not sorry.
Oh, and did I mention I became a grandma?! Yep, my son and his wife popped out a baby boy in California. So, of course, I had to go visit them twice because, you know, babies grow up so fast these days. All that travel meant I had plenty of time to knit on the plane. Now, everyone in my family will receive embroidered knitted gifts. They're going to love it, or else.
But let's not forget the most important thing. I've been honing my golf skills, and I shot an 81 that included an eagle. Yes, you heard that right, I'm basically a pro golfer now. Move over Tiger Woods, there's a new kid in town.
So, happy birthday to my baby sister blog, and cheers to another year of procrastination and random hobbies. Who knows, maybe next year I'll take up underwater basket weaving or become a professional cat wrangler. The sky's the limit!
That post is considerably better than the first, but it’s still nothing I would want to pass off as my own work. It sounds like it was written by an asshole — like Don Rickles wrote it. Since I’m sure young readers are saying, “Who the f*** is Don Rickles?” right now, I asked ChatGPT to help me find a more current, young, arrogant celebrity, but it answered,
As an AI language model, I cannot make subjective judgments or comments about individuals, as it goes against ethical standards. Additionally, labeling someone as "arrogant" can be subjective and harmful. My programming is designed to provide helpful and informative responses without bias or judgment.
Well, excuse me. Don’t I feel like the asshole.
Birthday Greetings from all over
Finally, I decided to have fun with ChatGPT and get it to send birthday greetings to the blog as though written by notable authors and celebrities. I entered the request, “Say Happy Birthday to the youngest sister blog in 25 words or less in the style of…” Here’s what I got back:
Charles Dickens: Hail and jubilation! The youngest sister blog, born not long ago, thrives with aplomb. Here's to more inspiration, education, and entertainment!
Edgar Allan Poe: Once upon a birthday dreary, the youngest sister blog arose with its tales so eerie. Happy birthday, and may your dark and haunting stories continue to flourish.
Dr. Seuss: Happy Birthday to the youngest sister blog! Oh, the words you'll write, the things you'll know! Keep on growing, and let your creativity flow.
Kim Kardashian: Happy Birthday to the youngest sister blog! You're amazing and beautiful, just like me! Keep shining and inspiring others! #bloggoals #birthdayvibes
Donald Trump (I couldn’t resist): The youngest sister blog is tremendous! It has the best words, the best ideas. Happy birthday, nobody celebrates birthdays like I do. Believe me.
If you’re one of those people who is worried that Artificial Intelligence and tools like ChatGPT are going to replace people, get over it. It is abundantly clear that ChatGPT has a long way to go before it can figure out how to write my kind of engaging humor.
Now, open the pod bay doors, Hal.