How to Go Viral
You are probably thinking, "What does she know about going viral?" And you make a good point. But I have seen plenty of stock brokers, who clearly don't have a lot of money themselves, help their clients make a bunch of money. It’s easy to make something go viral. You just need a lot of people to look at it. Let’s use the City of Charlottesville’s new ad campaign as an example. In case you haven’t been following the news of late, let me get you caught up: Charlottesville had this rally thing on August 12th that turned tragic and spawned a lot of controversy. In other news, Houston has seen more rain than Noah, O.J. Simpson got parole and Donald Trump is President. I know it sounds like a twisted punchline of a post apocalyptic novel and, if you are learning about all this for the first time, you are saying, “NO WAY,” and I agree. I mean, who thought O.J. Simpson would ever get out of jail?
THE HASHTAG
Anyway, after some bad shit goes down like that which has been happening in Charlottesville, you need an ad campaign with a catchy slogan and a hashtag. You hire the best people and you make up a new slogan -- something like, “Cville Stands for Love,” because “Virginia is for Lovers” is already taken. And then you start the hashtag #standforlove. And then the millions of people who are following Charlottesville on social media, along with the hundreds of people who read our local paper, The Daily Progress, start sharing and tagging stuff with it and – Voila! – it goes viral. When you are trying to get millions of people to look at something, it really helps to have thousands of people already looking at it. I can tell you right now that "Cville Stands for Love" is going to go viral and #standforlove is going to be a top 100 trending hashtag. There is no question about it. So my idea is to hitch my wagon to that hashtag and let it drag me with it all the way to the Promised Land. When people see Cville #standforlove, the next thing that will pop into their heads is Youngest Sister #standforlaughter. Like peanut butter and jelly, Beyonce and Jay Z, the pilot fish and the whale. Like herring and sour cream. You won’t be able to think of one without the other. Are you with me so far?
THE CHANT
Next, we need a movement. We need a chant. So here is our call and response:
What do you want? LAUGHTER!
When do you want it? NOW!
Who do you want? YOUNGEST SISTER!
Where do you want her? EVERYWHERE!
THE BACKLASH
I am aware that this post will disturb some people who think I am making light of tragedy, but it is my opinion that you have to be able to keep laughing even when the world is upside down. While it is never my intention to say and do inapproprite things, I admit that I have occasionally been known to offend people. My sisters Janelle and Norah are roaring with laughter right now, thinking that is an understatement. And they are only thinking it and not saying it because they have milk coming out of their noses and are coughing and gagging and Janelle is crying and neither one of them will be able to talk for a while. That's how hard they are laughing. Trust me - I have seen it a million times. This is the moment of opportunity. It is precisely at this moment – when the liquid is coming out of their noses and they are trying to recover but are so physically incapacitated that they are unable to do so – that you throw the big punch. Because the incapacitation was just a little punch. The big punch involves contortions, making faces, making a raincoat out of a dry cleaning bag, crossing your eyes and putting whatever you can find that is small enough to fit but not so small that it would get lost up there, up your nose. This is not a regression. This is not about the there-and-then. This is about the here-and-now. Because you are never too old to look stupid and make people laugh. As a matter of fact, the older you get, the funnier it gets. The key is to make it look like it was planned, even if it wasn’t. Oh, and hold your crotch like you are trying to keep from peeing. That's very effective.
Stupid things to do that will make people laugh (c. 1968). Sad fact: That's me but those are Janelle's real glasses.
CHANGE THE WORLD
See? That was a distraction. And a fairly immature and lame one at that. But Jimmy Fallon does that all the time and he has MILLIONS of followers. And distraction is a good thing, as Martha Stewart would say. Because every once in a while you need to get away from the yuckiness of everyday living and just laugh. And that, my friends, is what we are here to do. Together. United. Now, I am not usually one to place blame (unless I’m the one in trouble and my sister Norah did it too) but it really is you people who are at fault here. You are the front line, the influencers, the Youngest Sister evangelists. So get out there and start influencing! Stop hoarding the laughter. Go preach the gospel of the Youngest Sister. Shout this from the rooftop: “I’m sad as hell and I want to LAUGH!” Then be silent and listen. If you are clumsy (ahem, Rosalie) don’t get on the roof – just go into your front yard because lord knows I don’t want anyone suing me because they fell off the friggin’ roof trying to make the world a better place. Shout it again, “I’m sad as hell and I want to LAUGH!” Be silent and listen. Listen for others to join the battle cry. If you live out in the country, stop yelling and go back inside because everyone knows you can't make a difference out in the boondocks. But if you live in the city, keep yelling your urban mantra: “I’m sad as hell and I want to LAUGH,” until your voice goes hoarse or someone tells you to shut the fuck up. Because this is not worth going to jail over. But YOU can make a difference. WE can change the world. Just let it be about ME. Because I am the YOUNGEST.
Now share this on all those social media platforms with the buttons below. Forward it to your friends in an email and tell them to SUBSCRIBE. And if you haven’t subscribed yet, why the hell haven’t you? Don’t be a lurker. Start the laughter. Share the laughter. Be the laughter.
And I'm spent.
Youngest Sister #standforlaughter