Canada Day
Rabbit, rabbit, rabbit. Today, July 1st, is Canada Day and, while some people think it is the Canadian Independence Day, it is not. Canada Day celebrates the anniversary of the July 1, 1867 enactment of the Constitution Act which joined Nova Scotia, New Brunswick and the Canada province (Ontario and Quebec) into one country and defined its governmental structure. But it also transferred power from the British Parliament to the independent Canadian Parliament. The important thing is that there was no fighting and no bloodshed like when the U.S. wanted to get out from under Britain’s rule and I can tell you why.
Think of the U.S. and Canada as siblings. The U.S. is the oldest and Canada is the youngest. Trust me, I know how this works. The oldest child, the U.S., rebelled and got into huge trouble – she got grounded, wasn’t allowed to drive, couldn’t talk on the phone – the works. She responded by getting really moody and even refused to come home for Christmas which made Momma (England) really mad, so Momma didn’t give her as many presents that year. They eventually reconciled and Momma said, "Go ahead and be independent, I’m tired." So by the time the youngest child, Canada, pulled the same stunts later on, it was no biggie. Momma (England) said, “Look, I’ve done all this shit before and I don’t feel like going through it again, so just do what you want.” So the youngest, Canada, got to stay out past curfew, get drunk, not do her homework and get bad grades and never got in trouble because Queen Victoria had seen it all before and just couldn’t be bothered with the drama. Basically, Canada said, “I want to get my own apartment,” and England said, “Don’t let the door hit you in the ass on your way out.”
But get this: Canada didn’t get complete independence from England until 1982 with the enactment of the Canada Act. So it’s like she moved out but left all her shit behind in her room and said, “Don’t you dare change my room into a guestroom because it is still my room and I want it to stay exactly the same. Forever.” That worked for a while, but in 1982 England said, “You're a grown up now. It's time you started acting like one so I’m boxing all your stuff up and either putting it in the attic or sending it to you.” And she did that and Canada got the crap and threw a lot of it out and put the rest in storage and England put all the horse statues and horseshow ribbons in the attic and made the bedroom into a really nice guestroom. And Canada was old enough by the time it happened so she just said, “Whatevs,” and that’s why they still get along great and didn’t have to go through all that nasty fighting like the U.S. did.
If you weren't in school the day they taught history, please just let me know what you missed and I will try to explain it to you in a way that you will both understand and remember. Put your request in the comments field below and I'll see what I can do to help you out. Which part of history did you miss?