I started to write a post in which I referred to my musical friends, but the reference began to veer so far from the purpose of the post that it was clear it needed to become a post of its own. You see, my Blog Coach, also known as my daughter, informs me that my writing can be too tangential, and this fact, ironically, is what keeps me from describing how I told her I was writing tangentially before she was a zygote and maybe that's just the way I like it. Nevertheless, this is a subject that deserves its own post, sort of like how Joey was a spin-off from Friends only, hopefully, more successful than that.

MY WOMEN'S A CAPPELLA GROUP

I am in a women’s a cappella group and, before you start imagining me and some other crazy-cool bitches beatboxing while singing “Royals,” I must explain that it is not that kind of an a cappella group. And that is just as well, because female beatboxing is fairly unattractive even when it is done by young and attractive women. Visualizing older women beatboxing is about as easy to sit with as imagining your parents having sex. My women’s a cappella group sings sacred and spiritual music, along with the occasional piece written around a poem about nature. A lot of the music we sing is from the renaissance and baroque periods and I’m guessing they didn’t have drums back then because there’s no beatboxing in any of it. One of the songs we are working on right now calls for a few people to whisper – not sing - the word, “blank,” and that’s about as wild as we get.

The name of the group is “Fire” and we wear red shirts when we perform. Red shirts on top and black slacks or skirts on the bottom. Occasionally a member will go rogue and wear red shoes. This is a bold act which I admire, but I could never do it myself. I don’t like red and would never wear it voluntarily, not even on Valentine's Day. Especially not on Valentine's Day. The worst thing about wearing red for a performance is that one tends to get sweaty pits when one is nervous, and red shows sweaty pits. There are other bad things about red, unrelated to performing, such as the fact that you can’t wash it with anything else. Ever. But I suck it up and wear the red shirt because I like the group and I think we are pretty good.

OUR LEADER

Our director, Linda, started this group about 10 years ago as a birthday present to herself. She does all the planning and writes and arranges music and conducts us and puts out chairs for us on Tuesday evenings when we rehearse for the concerts we have twice a year. Now, if I were to give myself a birthday present, I promise it wouldn’t be so altruistic and would probably involve a substantial cash outlay, so I really admire Linda. She is an amazing musician and a stickler for detail who has been able to find the delicate balance between making me want to achieve more and making me want to bang my head against the wall. The group's website describes us as “a women’s a cappella chamber ensemble whose members share both a desire to live lives grounded in the Divine and a great joy in singing well together.” You are probably wondering how I fit into that mix and that proves you are an astute observer, which is a quality I admire.

THE MEMBERS

The group currently consists of twelve women and includes two Lindas, two Elizabeths and two women with really annoying double names. (I can say that because one of them is mine). Until recently we had two Nancys, so one was called “Tall Nancy” but I never heard the other one called “Short Nancy.” I suppose this is politically correct in this day and age but, if you think about it, tall and short are just adjectives. Who is to say one is better than the other? See? I'm making you think about something you hadn't thought about and that is why my tangential bent can be a good thing. Just don't tell my Blog Coach. My singing group includes a violinist massage therapist (which does not mean she plays the violin whilst massaging, simply that she is capable at both), a member of the Charlottesville City Council, and a former dressmaker who once made a custom dressing gown for Tom Wolfe that he described as “my favorite thing” in Esquire Magazine. Our newest member is a delightfully young soprano who is the blogger of Style Wise, which has a real purpose and message and is not meant to just be a time-sink like this blog. I am humbled by this. The group includes a veterinarian who drives nearly an hour over the mountain to rehearsals and a tele-singer who joins our rehearsals via the phone from her home in Pittsburgh, then comes down to Charlottesville for the performances. That is dedication. So you see? If all I have to do is suck it up and wear red a few times a year, I’m actually getting off easy.

By the way, we are looking for a low alto. But pay attention to the qualifications, because there is only room for one outlier in the group at a time. And I'm it.

So what do you think? Is the post worthy to stand alone? Feel free to leave your comments, tangential or otherwise, below. Tra la la.